And yet another wondrous new idea from our increasingly brilliant 'leaders' ~ 8 million people already dealing with ancient water (and gas) pipes bursting on a regular basis may now also have to deal with ruptured pipes carrying their collective death notice: slimy, skeevy OIL.
I am just so excited over this new possibility, my creative juices are overflowing!
I can see it now...very cost-effective to place the pipelines in already-existing subway tunnels, including the aquatic Lincoln and Holland tunnels, and all the other ways of traveling through the labyrinth of this city and environs. The underwater tunnels, gushing with oily water, will guarantee the contamination of neighboring states, and the subway will bring it to any neighborhood, all five boroughs, when a pipe just happens to bust open. Sounds good to me! (Whoops, there go all those neighborhood gardens...)
And the kids will love it in summertime, I'm sure...they like to play in mud, right? Well, what's better than greasy toxic water to splash around in on a warm summer day? Maybe chefs will figure out a way to use it as cooking oil, and given the resourcefulness of New Yorkers, I've no doubt that many will make lots and lots of money selling samples of this sludge on e-Bay!
Mayor Bloomberg, who thinks building a King Kong-sized Ferris wheel on the shores of Staten Island is a grand idea, will now expand it into a Pipeline Theme Park! Of course, you'll have to pay for your own Haz-Mat suit or take your chances sliding down the Toxic Oil Wheel of Death or the Bumper Slickers.
If Woodstock '69 had an anthem, it was Country Joe McDonald and The Fish's 'Fixin' To Die Rag' which opened with Country Joe addressing an audience of 500,000 kids:
"GIMME AN F!
GIMME A U!
GIMME A C!
GIMME A K!
WHAT'S THAT SPELL?! WHAT'S THAT SPELL?! WHAT'S THAT SPELL??"
and the audience, of course, answered appropriately, half a million strong. The best hook of the song was "WHOOPEE, WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"
Perhaps Mayor Bloomberg, or his future clone replacement, might want to consider it as a theme song for their $$$$$-generated Pipeline Theme Park...
For the curious, here is the song, in its glorious entirety: http://youtu.be/Jk68D91hTXw
For the full story: http://www.thenation.com/blog/174193/occupy-pipeline-fracking-threat-comes-nyc
