IT'S OFFICIAL: I'M A CURMUDGEON. #!!*@@#!!

If I were a cat, I would definitely be that facebook phenomenon, "Grumpy Cat." But since I am a mere human, I shall have to accept the title "curmudgeon" even though it is usually reserved for grumpy old men (as seen on The Muppets.)

In spite of its actual meaning, 'curmudgeon' has a cute sound to it, like 'dumpling' or 'muffin.' However, a curmudgeon is as far from a dumpling/muffin as you can get. More like a shit pie, if you'll pardon my French.

There is even an International Society of Curmudgeons, located at http://grumpy-people.com/Article/11/What%20is%20a%20Curmudgeon and I say it's about time! Time that we grumpy people are recognized, lauded, applauded and appreciated for our contributions to society!

Because we are grumpy, we tend to keep to ourselves and not bother anyone. We don't annoy people with forced smiles or sunny shout-outs of "Good morning!" ~ we're too miserable to care about smiling or wishing anyone a good morning, and we couldn't care less if you wish us one or not, so that's one less burden for YOU.

As I await permission from the International Society of Curmudgeons to quote from their webpage, I will (as many grumpy people do) just take it for granted that they're gonna say its okay (if only to get rid of me) and quote away.

To wit:

"A curmudgeon often has a black sense of humor. They don't just complain about things, they do it with flair, style, panache, satire, and a sardonic view of life! That's what makes them memorable. They also, deep down (very deep down), believe that by saying something about it, life will change. Saying even more about it will hopefully make life change faster and sooner."

I have been told, many times, that I have a "bizarre" sense of humor. Well, that's just another word for "black," so as a curmudgeon, I am vindicated!

One more quote:

"Your average grump and grouch are just complainers. They moan and groan about how things are going wrong, they don't like this and they don't like that. But a curmudgeon has a world outlook. They see that entire societies and civilizations are going to hell in a hand-basket!"

And, I may add, they are not afraid to say it. 

BAH! Don't bother me!!

OF SOLITUDE, SILENCE, MUSIC AND CATS...

"The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind." ~ Albert Einstein

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
~ Albert Schweitzer

Well now, seems like the advice of not one, but two genius minds is the way to go, doesn't it? It's a known fact that creative people require solitude...you can't very well write an intricate story with people flapping their tongues at you all day long about stuff which either aggravates your guts or bores you to death, leaving you drained of energy or, worse, chasing the elusive Muse away.

Nor can you paint a mural in a busy, crowded, LOUD restaurant (trust me, I've done it, it's a nightmare) where every burst of laughter makes you jump out of your skin, not to mention smattering paint everywhere. And the wonderful (and intoxicated) "advice"..."NO, YA GOT THAT WRONG, IT'S TOO DARK!" 

Uhh, EXCUSE ME, but does it look FINISHED to you or am I in the very beginning of the delicate process of CREATING an enormous mural?? Stupid people, loud people = NOT WELCOME.

I've managed to secure my solitude to about an 85% level now...but then, someone appears out of the foggy blue of the past, or you deal with 'neighbors' who either can't read or are just downright rude, and BAM! there goes the solitude. Again. Would YOU disturb a person whose door has this staring you in the face??

So, as soon as I realize that I have, once AGAIN, allowed my space to be invaded, it's corrected. And I am happily returned to the peace and quiet of solitude, creativity, music and cats.

My dear (and very wise) friend, Bill Goulding sent this to me a while back. I'd need a ream of paper and a box of pencils to finish the list. But I'm getting there, Bill, I'm getting there!