"GOOD FENCES MAKES GOOD NEIGHBORS"

Or so thought Robert Frost. But I think cinder block and barbed wire make much better ones.

I have recently been verbally assaulted by three different neighbors in my building, something that's been going on since I moved into this place almost 19 years ago. Now I know some may think it's nice to be neighborly and distinctly not nice to be annoyed by people every frigging time I make an appearance ~ be it the laundry room, the mailbox or just trying to walk down the block without being given the third degree ~ but who cares? Not I!

Nosy Neighbors: "Where have you been?? We never see you!" 

Well, maybe that's because I try to do everything when you're all either sleeping or at work!

Then there are those captive audience, elevator attempts at conversation...

Weirdo Neighbor: "This elevator is so slow! I see it go alllll the way up to 12 and then alllll the way down to garage before it gets to me on the 8th floor!" 

Yeah, well...shit happens. (I was just thinking that but it somehow popped out of my mouth, leaving Weirdo Neighbor visibly stunned by my response.) I simply don't CARE, why should I even pretend interest?

Obnoxious Neighbor: "Why are you always dressed in t-shirts with paint on them? Why don't you wear an apron to stay clean?" Uh, excuse me?? I stepped out to get my MAIL, I'm not attending Fashion Week. And I'm an ARTIST, perhaps I'm working on something at the moment??? Same neighbor: "You must wash your hair a lot, it's always wet!" 

Okay, now I'm getting REALLY pissed and snap back: "I SWEAT PROFUSELY WHEN PEOPLE IRRITATE ME."

The best one of all happened in my early years here...

Ear-splitting BOOMING Voice Neighbor: "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY, YOU SHOULD BE OUTSIDE ENJOYING THE WEATHER!" 

This as I'm doubled over with colitis and dragging my ass just to get some laundry done before I collapse into a writhing ball of pain. That's when I totally lost it. In the presence of his wife and children, I coldly responded: "You know what I love most about this co-op, Jerry?"

"NO, WHAT?" came the eardrum-busting response. 

"HOW EVERYBODY MINDS THEIR OWN GODDAMNED BUSINESS!"

He made a slight choking sound...I'm not sure if he fainted as the elevator finally arrived and I managed to save my hearing. And my sanity. But I never looked back.

But animals?? Animals are always welcome. Not because they cannot speak, but because they are infinitely more intelligent than the majority of people I know. And ever so much nicer.

NOW WE HAVE THE MUNSTERS RUNNING FOR POTUS??

After eight horrible years of America's Village Idiot and his VP, Satan Incarnate, destroying this country, we now have our very own version of The Munsters running for the highest office in the land??

I really don't think these clown-monsters have a chance of winning, unless snowballs remain intact in hell...which is where the majority of us will be if ~ every-spirit-in-the-sky forbid ~ they do manage to steal the election  (sound familiar?)

And if they do win?  Please...kill me now.

However, given this country's increasingly stoopid general population and their blind devotion to lying talk show hosts who tell them everything they want to hear (as The Liars laugh all the way to their obscenely bulging bank accounts,) their devotion to Fox "News" (recently banned in Canada for misrepresenting itself as a news station instead of what it really is, an FCC-classified entertainment channel which gives them free rein to lie-spin-and-lie again,) their fascination with vapid TV shows (take your pick) and that endearing and uniquely American trait known as racism (covert AND overt) it remains a distinct and terrifying possibility.

Romney's refusal to release anything more than TWO tax returns ("We've given you people enough..." ~ Mrs. Romney-Stepford-Wife) his offshore bank accounts, the Romney Shuffle on just about any issue past and present, his cold and callous treatment of the "family" dog, ad infinitum ad nauseum...and this head case thinks he's qualified to run for President of the United States? Try DOGPATCH USA, Mittens, because that's where you belong. And we all know about animal abusers morphing into mass murderers, don't we?

As for his choice of running mate, has Mittsy forgotten the disaster of Sarah Palin in his quest to be loved by the extreme right wing-nuts of America? And we all know how well that worked out. The United States has a choice...either fall down that goddamned rabbit hole AGAIN, or wake the hell up and realize that you're being taken. Unless you're a wannabe Donald Trump (that other cafone* genius) and naively believe that we're all playing on a level field.

Take a look at this brief YouTube video of Paul Ryan and how much he "cares" about you and me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBhdXfCdaA8

I would love to be put into an induced coma until mid-November and then, if the unthinkable becomes fact, don't bother reviving me, just ship me off to Canada or England or even Gate of Heaven Cemetery because, quite frankly, I would rather be dead than forced to live in a Romney-Ryan America.


* obnoxious loud-mouth