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| "God, please don't let them read that damned thing out loud..." |
Dear Friends and Family,
Well, we sure hope this finds you all healthy, wealthy and a lot wiser than it did last year. We don't mean to be immodest, but we're all of the above ~ but especially much wealthier, if we must say so our obnoxious selves!
Hmm, where shall we begin?? Well, one month after Christmas Past (2013) we took a family vacation (thanks to Hubby's generous holiday bonu$) and a wonderful time was had by all!
Gay Paree and Bella Roma were utterly charming ~ but Muffin and Jimmy Joe decided to ski in Gstaad while Hubby and I enjoyed the sights, sounds and gastronomical delights of Paris and Rome...and it looks like I'll be hitting the downstairs gym before any pool parties at our place this summer. (Not to worry, no Fatties will be on anyone's horizon...including invited guests if you get my drift.)
However, upon our return, we found that our lovely home was invaded by a virtual army of La Cucaracha. EEEEEEEKK!! We were devastated, to say the very least. How disgusting!! We can't imagine how this happened, except for the fact that we're totally clueless on how to clean without Rosalita and Seraphina, our maid and housekeeper. Since they were both on holiday at the time of our departure, who knows? We may have left a few dozen sandwiches, snacks, and unfinished dinners around the place...
March and April were pretty uneventful, and then May happened! That is when our own little Muffin confided to us that she's pregnant with our very first illegitimate grandchild! We could not be more pleased!
Meanwhile, Jimmy Joe has been helping his Daddy at work, around the house, and especially at our Foo Foo Country Club, so his probation/community service hours are just whizzing by. (We've increased his allowance so that he will not find it necessary to ever commit armed robbery again.)
We received our annual visit from Hubby's family this past summer (here's the part about not saying anything at all if you can't say something nice.) Let me just say that if my sister-in-law had to be described in one word, well, she'd rhyme with the word stitch...or witch...or ditch. Or...ah hell, she's just a BITCH, plain and simple.
June-July-August, zoom! Before you know it, sailing into yet another lovely autumn soon to be followed by Christmas again! Goodness gracious, where does the time go??
So we all ~ Hubby and I, Muffin (including the one still in the oven,) Jimmy Joe, Rosalita, Seraphina, and even our top-notch exterminators, Don't Bug Me! ~ wish you exactly what you wish us. And then some!
(As a precaution, please check your blood sugar. Some past recipients of our annual holiday letter have been known to contract diabetes, although I never could understand why...)
