Greetings From Planet Paula: MY STRANGE FAMILY TREE: Stupid Cat Phobia

Greetings From Planet Paula: MY STRANGE FAMILY TREE: Stupid Cat Phobia: From Wikipedia: Ailurophobia is a type of specific phobia : the persistent, irrational fear of cats . It comes from the Greek αἴλουρος (...

MY STRANGE FAMILY TREE: Stupid Cat Phobia

From Wikipedia: Ailurophobia is a type of specific phobia: the persistent, irrational fear of cats. It comes from the Greek αἴλουρος (aílouros), "cat" and φόβος (phóbos), "fear".

Now we all know people who have an irrational fear of cats for whatever reason. But when it's based on the following true story, it borders on just plain stupid.

One night in 1947, my great-grandmother, Nonon (or 'Pinch Grandma' as we called her since she was always sewing and would stick us with a needle when my 500 cousins and I got out of hand) went into the family kitchen and found one of her son's beloved cats fast asleep on the chair she wanted. Grandpa loved animals ~ his mother could barely stand children, never mind all the "animales" he brought home on a regular basis.

Without a word, she violently shook the chair to rid it of the cat. The poor creature was so frightened, it jumped up and bit a CHUNK of flesh out of Nonon's arm, causing the family to rush her to the local hospital's ER where, when all was said and done, one of my aunts asked the doctors, "Could she have Rabbis?" (I kid you not.)

And so, since 1947, the majority of the family fear, dislike and even hate cats because of this singular incident. I, however, inherited my grandfather's intense love for all animals and now, in that beautiful cat's defense, I would like to say the following:

If somebody woke me up in such a manner, there'd be no need to go to a hospital because they'd be DOA, their jugular having been ripped out on-site. And I've no doubt that all of the family "cat haters" would react the same if they were awakened in such a rude and terrifying way.

If an animal is a) sleeping or b) eating, you NEVER startle them without expecting some kind of reaction. They're not stuffed toys, you idiots, they're living, breathing, sensitive creatures who love unconditionally, so there is really no need to be mean or inconsiderate or "afraid" of them.

And I have news for you. When my mother had a family luncheon and banned her cats to the bedroom, I filled up my plate and had lunch with Harry and Meggie in the bedroom. And it was a very fine time indeed.

MY STRANGE FAMILY TREE

<---- that is my interpretation of my own family tree ~ no leaves, just pods, and the ones that have broken off are the happiest...see their contented little smiles at the bottom? More about them later.

Why pods? Well, for one thing, when you do have a large Italian family, those with similar interests tend to break off into little cliques that remind me of Pod People.

Whether it's gambling, traveling, the witches' cauldron of gossip (every family has at least one of them) they gather on a regular basis and those who do not 'fit in' are routinely ignored and/or tolerated if they happen to be among them on the rare occasion.

As the little Podettes grow up and marry, they'd better marry someone who passes the entire family's scrutiny and judgment or that poor person is smacked in the face with what my ex-cousin-in-law calls "The Invisible Shield." They circle the wagons and leave the Disliked Ones out for the coyotes and vultures of the night.

When these Pod People begin to have families, they transform into what I like to call The Inbreds ~ those who socialize with just their own families which automatically excludes you and yours, because whatever blood connection you may share, you are NOT an Own Family member (as one 'aunt' told me) so don't expect any invitations or otherwise.

Okay, so the Pod People beget The Inbreds, but what about those happy little fallen pods on the ground? Well, those are the infamous black sheep of every family (several cousins and I take that title with pride) up to and including people who married into (and later divorced out of) "the family." NEVER could the fault lie with the family member, not that anyone's marriage should be the business of anyone but the husband and wife (reference witches' cauldron of gossip.)

To be continued.....