Didn't matter how many times I told her that, once an artist/writer is published and/or paid, they automatically ARE professional. I didn't have the proper degrees from institutes of higher learning, therefore, anything I did was almost professional...but not quite.
It also did not matter that, among a host of other creative achievements, I had my own line of greeting cards, designed an anti-littering poster for the NYC Dept of Sanitation (which was also featured as a background prop for three years on a hit 1980s TV show, 'Head of the Class,') wrote a weekly column for a local newspaper, and eventually had a book published ~ in her eyes, I was still almost professional.
Which led to the frustrating reality of constantly asking myself "am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?" when the fact of the matter is I was (and still am) scared to death about every single creative enterprise I may contribute to the world at large. "Are they saying they like it only because they're being nice, is it really good, or am I deluding myself?"
Unfortunately, the world in which we live demands financial triumph before any artist is considered a success. And that is the one disheartening and frustratingly elusive butterfly that I have not yet been able to capture.
Which brings forth the memory of a time when I was attempting to encourage an extremely creative friend who was terribly frustrated and depressed about his inability to convince the "right" people (read $$$) of his artistic achievements, when he snapped at me, "TELL IT VAN GOGH!!"
Indeed. Makes me wonder how many people told Vincent "It's so good, it's almost professional!"...?
