If The Temptations thought the world was a ball of confusion in 1970, what the hell can it be called today?
I just ventured outside on a beautiful autumn morning. After a 10-minute "quick run" for some things I needed, I returned home a nervous goddamned wreck. In the space of five minutes, I literally jumped out of my skin at least that many times.
First stop, the local candy store owned by a person from Yemen (as most 'candy stores' are these days) who is CONSTANTLY on his cell phone, jabbering away in his native tongue...how the hell do I know this guy isn't a potential terrorist? He's rude, disrespectful, has that hot line to Yemen forever glued to his ear, barely ever smiles and appears to hate his customers.
I stayed for a minute to talk with a lovely couple who had just bought coffee and, because it's a chilly day, were drinking it inside. Suddenly, candy store guy starts SCREAMING into his phone. I jumped, obviously startled, but my friends told me "Oh, he does that when he wants people to leave the store." Excuse me??
So we ignored him and continued discussing tonight's political debate in a quiet and civilized manner when he starts SCREAMING again. Meanwhile, I had asked him for a BAG for my purchase and was still waiting when he had his little psychotic break. I just glared at him and said "I'M WAITING FOR THE BAG, SIR."
As this lovely scenario was playing itself out, a worker entered the store and was inches behind me when his walkie-talkie suddenly erupted, FULL BLAST. Again, JUMP! Then candy store psycho begins his third SCREAM when I told the couple "Look, I really have to get out of here, I feel like I'm in an insane asylum" and left.
QUICK stop into supermarket for milk and cat food, and zoomed home, so desperate was I to close and lock the door behind me, cursing technology all the way.
I recently read a British medical study that concluded there would be an "epidemic of brain cancer within one decade" because of the incessant use of cell phones. I am not the kind of person who would wish that on anyone, but.....
The world is no longer a ball of confusion. It is now officially a cracked egg, and one that I really want no part of. As for CELL PHONES.....
