Wednesday, June 19, 2013

THE NOTE FAMILY


What exactly is a "note family," you ask? Well, it happens when people are on different schedules and have to leave notes to communicate a message, be it school projects, food shopping, etc.

My father worked for the NYC Transit Authority as a motorman (modern-day term, engineer, sorry!) and often had odd hours, arriving home when we were all asleep.

He always took an interest in my homework, so I left my 4th grade, whatever-lesson it was ~ a construction paper, 3-dimensional square, triangle and cone, carefully held together by Scotch tape ~ on the table, with a note: "Dad, I made these for my school project tomorrow!"

Upon awakening, we found just the cone pulled to the center of the table, on top of a note from him: "ONE OF YOU SHOULD WEAR THIS AS A DUNCE CAP TODAY. THE DOOR WAS UNLOCKED." (To his credit, he was a safety nut about everything.)

At which point, my mother put a large plastic bag on the same table, with her own note: "FOR BEST RESULTS, WEAR OVER HEAD FOR 24 HOURS."

And so it went, back and forth, for as long as I can remember.

One classic is when Jell-o introduced a new, exotic flavor in the 1950s ~ LIME! We clamored for it, and my father, always one for bargains, decided to buy TWELVE boxes of lime Jell-o when it was on sale. My mother prepared a huge bowl of the slime-colored dessert...one taste, and we hated it! However, instead of using our brains and getting rid of it a little at a time when he wasn't home, we just let it sit there in the refrigerator, uneaten.

I will never forget the day I got home from school and found notes EVERYWHERE, all saying the same thing:

On the kitchen table: JELLO.

On the stereo turntable (boy, did he know my priorities!) JELLO.

Open the bathroom cabinet: JELLO.

Pinned to my clothing: JELLO.

JELLO SIGNS EVERYWHERE!

That is when my brain cells kicked in and I thought to myself: TOILET BOWL! And I have never eaten lime Jell-o since.







BEWARE OF NORTON LIFELOCK!!!

This is a short story about a disreputable, despicable company by the name of NORTON LIFELOCK. They deducted over $250.00  from my account W...