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| New Hampshire, 1971 |
I was born and raised in what many people consider the "greatest city in the world" ~ New York ~ and honestly can't remember a time when I agreed with that assessment. Concrete canyons never appealed much to me, nor did subways, noise, congestion, crowds, dirt and all the unpleasantness of city life. UGH...the very antithesis of what my heart requires for serenity.
In the early 1950s, a dear aunt took me and my cousins to the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show. I remember the relief I felt to get away from the noise of the train, and then walking up dank, smelly subway stairs that made me hold my breath, my nose wrinkled in distaste. As we reached sidewalk level, I gazed up at those impossibly tall buildings and remember feeling terrified. I could not wait to get home to the relative calm of my old neighborhood in the still-sane Bronx of that era.
But prior to that, when I was still a baby, my paternal aunt and uncle (and childless godparents) purchased a weekend home in rural upstate New York, surrounded by nothing but woods...and that is when I lost my heart to the 'country.'
I spent countless hours in those wooded areas with their Beagle, Teddy, exploring, finding 'secret trails' that led to wide-open meadows filled with wildflowers, and peace. Teddy and I would sit or lie in the sunlight, just soaking in the fragrance of sun-warmed grass, and sometimes disappear for hours.
Upon our return, I'd often hear "PAULA!! PAULA, WHERE ARE YOU?? PLEASE ANSWER US!!" and I'd emerge from the woods smiling and thinking how silly they were to worry. I was an EXPLORER and I had Teddy the Beagle with me, what's with all the hysteria??
Uncle always planted a huge garden out front, and he'd take me with him on those narrow paths, explaining how he knew when a carrot was ready for plucking, or point out the flowers and explain that they'd turn into zucchini (squash) soon. He also made a swing for me on the gnarled old tree out front, where I'd just swing back and forth, always in a daydream, enchanted by the beauty that surrounded me.
I loved sleeping in the attic bedroom, all by myself! Right beside my bed was a window where I'd look out and sometimes, in the early morning, I'd see Midnight, a beautiful black Retriever who lived about a mile or two up the road. I'd jump out of bed and race downstairs and outside in my pajamas, yelling "MIDNIGHT!! You came to see me!!!"
My aunt would get all flustered and yell, "Don't! The dew's still on the grass, you'll get all wet!" I didn't even know what dew WAS, nor did I care. My friend Midnight was waiting for me!
I dreaded Sundays, when we had to go back home. Leaving that all behind brought a sadness to my heart that no child should ever feel. I loved it that much.
As I grew older, my friends became more important than a weekend in the country, and so I reluctantly became a city kid again. Fortunately, we lived a couple blocks from the NY Botanical Garden, which became a refuge and a haven for my teenage and adult self.
And all these decades later, I continue to find comfort and serenity only when I am embraced by Mother Nature...
