In case you're wondering, the illustration at left is not a normal colon...but is IS a pretty accurate depiction of my own whenever I have a colitis attack, which ~ I can assure you ~ is not fun.
I was born with a 'sensitive colon' which progressed, as the years and aggravation piled up, to a herniated-strangulated colon before it finally blew, requiring emergency surgery and a NINE-DAY healing period of NO FOOD-NO WATER until the 'pipes' started working again. The surgeon informed me that I had a 'high-grade' obstruction, i.e., sections that were flipped over, crimped and telescoping and wondered how I had been able to physically function at all, given the period of time this had been taking place. Well, Doc, it wasn't easy, I can tell you that.
I called in sick a lot at the very last job I had, before this condition completely disabled me. Nobody ever believed me, not even my own family...everyone thought I "just didn't want to work." When my boss asked "What does it feel like?" I told him "Sort of like trying to digest a razor blade as it slowly (and excruciatingly) moves its way through the knots, needles, clothespins and clamps along the way."
After the above explosion and reparation, a friend told me "Maybe now people will believe that you weren't slacking off all those times you were sick." You think??
And if I don't eat enough fiber (or 'roughage' as it used to be called) every single day ~ and I'm talking a tree's worth, including the bark ~ the above illustration comes to life again. As the surgeon explained, "We repaired the damage, but you will always be prone to attacks. You must watch your diet very carefully and thoroughly chew your food." Ah yes, mastication, the root of all evil!
Which means oatmeal and prunes for breakfast, as much fruit as I can afford in these ridiculously high-priced times, and all things whole wheat...breads, pasta, even SNACKS have to be chosen with care.
And ONE exciting thing that either upsets or flips my manic switch will bring it on or further exacerbate the problem. Which leaves me very little choice as to diet, and the company I keep.
Yeah, I got those dirty, lowdown, crazy colon blues all right...or, to quote a James Taylor live rendition of his 'Steamroller Blues,' "I got those chicken-chuckin', motherfuckin' BAALUUUUUUUUES!!"
Pardon the language, but if you EVER had this condition, you'd be cursing a blue streak too.
