Now REALLY!!
Defy gravity? Who thought up this one? Great, we can all look 16 again if we just buy this gravity-defying bra (that thing we burned in the Sixties) and wear it every day ~ perky young boobs all thanks to the latest in miracle bras! (Does NASA know about this??)
But what about the rest of it...?
Uh oh...what is THIS?? Oh WOW.....a new-fashioned CORSET ~
just like the ladies of a century+ ago wore to get those 'hour glass' figures...54-04-48, not including bustle. And look, it even has a million little hooks-and-eyes so you can spend even more time sweating as you get dressed. This should be a huge hit when it's 95 degrees outside with matching humidity...
But what about the rest of us? Maybe we can look forward to new (and improved!) products like 'Skin Velcro' so we can haul up our sagging asses by sticking 'em onto the corset. And that, in turn, may pull up the cellulite-pocked thigh flab ~ voila! We are young again! (Just don't go to the beach, look in a mirror, or expect to breathe until you've freed your body of this ridiculous prison.)
As for me? Nah! I'd rather be saggy, baggy, flabby and real, thank you very much.
Besides, I like being an old broad. It's much more comfortable!
