When my father was nearing the end of his life, his body ravaged by diabetes, my mother asked him one day, "But Joe, you're not afraid of death?"
His response was simple, to the point, and even hilarious in a way. He simply answered, "Who cares? No more bills, no more aggravation, I couldn't care less."
And now, almost 27 years since those words were spoken, I find myself asking the same question, and answering with the same words. "Who cares? I couldn't care less."
And, very much like Jim Morrison's thoughts on the subject, it is life that hurts, so, to me, death is not a fearful thing, but a peaceful end to earthly suffering.
I've always been quite aware of death. Some would say 'morbidly aware.' Perhaps the deaths of both my paternal and maternal grandparents before I was ten years of age contributed to my consciousness of it. I didn't understand it, but certainly felt the depths of pain it brought with every loss of a loved one. And, with time, the sad ache and lonely acceptance of its finality.
My parents never shielded me from it, either. "Paula, it's as much a part of life as being born, so just get used to it and accept it!" Easy to say, but for a tender, sensitive little soul, not so easy to comprehend or obtain. I always had to get to the very bottom of the pain before I could find my way back up to any level of acceptance. No matter how much it hurt (and it was agony) every single memory had to be dredged up, re-lived and finally put back into place again.
And then, when all the tears were shed, and all the memories gently filed away, I'd look up at the sky with the heaviest of hearts and somehow imagine the loss of someone (or thing) as a tiny little envelope with each of their names on it, tucked into a white cloud in the sky for all eternity.
As we grow old, death does indeed become more of a part of life than birth. As we slowly say goodbye to family, friends, and beloved pets, we are left to wonder when our time will come...when we will have our own tiny white envelope tucked into an eternal white cloud.
So, quoting Jim Morrison again, "At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend."
Nothing to fear, because "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." ~ Jim Morrison
It's just the brief journey of getting from here to there that's a little scary. But sooner or later, we all make it, and I firmly believe, eventually all meet up on the other side...
